as i see it....

the other night, during a small group meeting with my youth group, i asked a simple question. the study was on self-esteem and the question was just an ice breaker question. but it brought up some great conversation.

the question was; "when did you feel best about yourself?" and "what made you feel this way?"

i expected answers like; "when i was all dressed up" or "when someone complimented me."

but i can sum up all the answers that were given like this; "when i did something good/nice for someone else." WOW! i wasn't expecting that. but it was so cool to hear these young people realize what an impact a good deed can have... not just on the person receiving it but for the person giving it, as well.

it was an unexpected lesson that i'd like to see our group take seriously. and i can't wait to see what great things can come from it.

Posted by youthworker4all at 10:39 PM | Permalink | Comments

i am a people watcher. i often find myself watching parent/child interactions with fascination. it goes something like this...

i was standing in line today and there was a father and his young son in front of me. it was fun to watch the two of them because the little boy was so cute and the two of them were playing little games and talking to each other as only a daddy and his little boy can. it was obvious that they loved each other and having fun with each other. it sure made waiting in line a pleasure.

but i couldn't help but wonder what that little boy was going to look like and act like when he got older. at what point would things change? at what point will the son not want to talk to his dad anymore? at what point will the dad find he has more important things to do than play with his son? at what point will the two of them fail to remember the games they played and the conversations they had when there was nothing as important in life but wait in a line together?

would it be all of a sudden? no, if you're a parent you know it's a gradual thing. it just seems like it happens over night. maybe that point will never come with these two. i can only hope.

as i left the line (my business was done) and walked out of the building, i saw a couple boys sitting on the curb. i'm not judging here, just trying to paint a picture for you. they were wearing all black and their hair was long, black and styled in an interesting fashion. they had piercings. they were both smoking cigarettes.

i couldn't help but contrast them to the little boy i had just seen. i tried to picture these two teenagers as little boys. what did their relationship with their dads look like when they were young? probably much like i had just seen. again, at what point did it change? why did it change?

the other day i was watching a mother with three children - two of them girls. they seemed to be normal little girls but as i watched them (yes, i was in a line again), it became apparent that there was a mean streak in them. they must have been around the ages of 6 and 8, and already, they were being mean to each other, and not just normal sisterly meanness. i couldn't help but imagine them in middle school, when that meaness will be at it's peak and countless victims will be affected.

the point to this post? i don't know. maybe, if you're a parent reading this, that you'll treasure every minute with your child... even those while standing in a never-ending line. and to also offer the insight that your child will go through those points of change. my advice... go through it with them. don't let them go through it by themselves.

Posted by youthworker4all at 10:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm the girl who everyone loves but honestly I am fakeand I am dying right
before your eyes. My smile makes everyone's heart race when honestly I am just another disgrace.

this was written by another girl on myspace. i don't know if she wrote it herself or got it from some other source. but either way, it described how she felt at the time. it actually came after many posts stating how much she hated her life, how she wanted people to stop telling her how pretty she was, and how she just wanted to move away.

i write about these two girls and tell you that i know many more that write and feel the same way. these are symptoms of depression. and i'm finding more and more young people dealing with it. here is a list of symptoms that i found on teenhealth.org.

>depressed mood or sadness most of the time (for what may seem like no reason)
>lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
>inability to enjoy things that used to bring pleasure
>withdrawal from friends and family
>irritability, anger, or anxiety
>inability to concentrate
>significant weight loss or gain
>significant change in sleep patterns (inability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get up in the morning)
>feelings of guilt or worthlessness
>aches and pains (even though nothing is physically wrong)
>pessimism and indifference (not caring about anything in the present or future)
>thoughts of death or suicide

this site says that when someone has five or more of these symptoms most of the time for 2 weeks or longer, that person is probably depressed. depression is very common and affects as many as one in eight people in their teen years.

wow! one in eight. that's pretty astounding. but i would tend to agree with that statistic just from my own experience. what i'm unsure of is whether parents, teachers, or any other adults in the lives of these young people know that they are dealing with depression.

how about you? do you know a teenager who may be dealing with depression?

Posted by youthworker4all at 10:05 PM | Permalink | Comments

i'm on myspace alot. and i read a lot of kid's blogs. sometimes i can be brought to tears by their words. some of them are really hurting. and i often wonder if their blog is their only outlet. does anyone know how they're really feeling? besides those who read their blogs? and do those who read their blogs really care about how they're feeling? i know i do, but i think most people who read kid's blogs on myspace are just other kids.

i personally know a girl... we'll call her annie (of course, not her real name), on myspace. she writes often and it's usually a mixture of a recounting her day and then what's bothersome in her life. it became more apparent to me that more was bothering her than not. she wasn't sleeping, she was not getting along with her parents, she hated school and wanted to drop out, and her overall outlook on life was very negative.

we would talk about it sometimes but she didn't see any way out from all the weight she was feeling or how anything could change. then one day, she broke. it happened at school and she ended up talking to a counselor. from there, the family was notified and they all attended some counseling together. then one day i get a call from her mother telling me she's been admitted to the psychiatric ward of a state facility. she wanted to go (thank God) because she knew she might hurt herself and she wanted help.

there's a reason why i write about this....
and i think i'll finish it up tomorrow. check back for the conclusion to this post. :]

Posted by youthworker4all at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

i came across this interesting article. you can read it in it's entirety by clicking here. it's about a documentary being made examining john hughes' era of teen movies and asking him to come back to make movies that reflect more accuarately the teenagers of today.

if the name john hughes doesn't ring any bells, he was the genius behind such movies as the breakfast club, sixteen candles, and ferris bueller's day off. if you watched any of these movies as a teenager, you could relate to how the teenagers looked and how they were portrayed. not so with the teen movies of today. here are some quotes from the arictle.

"All the teens we interviewed said that they can't relate to any of the
movies that have come out for them in the last decade."

The consensus is that Hughes understood the awkwardness of being a
teenager, he didn't shy away from real emotions, and he cast actors that looked the way teens look -- acne, braces, unwieldy bodies and all.

Now all the females in teen movies are curvy and well-endowed. Or
super-skinny like Lohan. And the guys are impossibly buff, like Chris Klein.
It's giving kids a warped sense of self...

the statement, "it's giving kids a warped sense of self" is why i write this post. it's further evidence that the media bombards the teens of today with what they should look like and who they should be. maybe this documentary will send an important message to hollywood. the question is, will they listen.

Posted by youthworker4all at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

i've been thinking about this blog and how i want to proceed from here (see yesterday's post) and after getting a phone call today from a parent who's child has just gone through a life changing decision, i've been doing more thinking about who i am and how i respond to different types of situations.

i've realized that i have interacted with a lot of kids that are in crisis or going through a very stressful time. and i started wondering why. i feel like it's the gifts that God has given me and the ministry that He has called me to. there have been times when i get upset with other youth pastors i know becuase i've felt like they should be more involved in a certain kid's life and be there for them as they go throough hard times. even after a youth pastor finds out about something, i have felt like they don't care or do enough.

in thinking about this and the situation that was shared with me through the phone call, i came to a realization... a conclusion of sorts. God gifts and equips us all differently. i know that - have known that for a long time. so why didn't i latch on to that truth when thinking about other youthworkers and what i defined as their weaknesses.

God has blessed me with the opportunities to help kids who are in crisis. He has put kids in my life who have or will have struggles and i think He's asking me to just be a presence in their lives. and in the same way, He has gifted, equipped, and called others to minister in other ways. so instead of me getting upset with others, i should be praising God for the ministry He has given me and supporting and encouraging others in the ministry God has called them to.

i feel real stupid and shallow at the moment. but it's a lesson learned and i thank God teaching me. from here on out i will look at ministry differently, especially mine. i won't take the opportunities He gives me for granted. He's giving them to me for a reason.

back to this blog. i understand now why my posts sound so heavy. it's because they reflect the ministry i am in. i will try to find a way to share what's on my heart without making it sound so gloomy.

Posted by youthworker4all at 3:03 PM | Permalink | Comments

gosh... i can't believe it's been almost a month since i last wrote. i did have a computer problem for a few days of that time, but there's a bigger reason why i haven't posted anything.

i've read back thru my posts here and felt like it's all negative. i felt like i paint this negative and sad view of what the youth culture looks like. that wasn't really my intent. my intent was to show readers (who ever they may be) some of what a kid deals with in today's world. and to be honest, i think a lot of it is hard and stressful. but there is happiness and good times in a kid's life, too.

so where do i go from here? i'm not exactly sure. this blog may change a couple of times before i find something i can be comfortable with. but i still feel it's important to share some of the truths of what the youth of today go through because too many adults don't have a clue.

Posted by youthworker4all at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments